Why Are We Consistently Inconsistent?

in Belief

We are rude to the people we love, yet civil to people we know nothing about. We make the right choice and then over-ride it to our own disadvantage. However, when we consider the complexities of our civilized existence and the complications of the human personality, it's a wonder we are as consistent as we are.

We need to ask ourselves the right questions: "What determines our consistency in the first place? What are the barriers that keep us from being as consistent and as predictable as we'd like ourselves to be?" Our lives would be smoother and less problematic if we could answer these questions. We wouldn't have to apologize as much or pay the penalties for deeds we had no conscious intention of achieving. We could stop saying, "I don't know what got into me." If we knew, we would not do it all over again next time.

I believe it is our subterranean beliefs from the past that determine how consistent we are. These beliefs keep us on track without the need for our conscious awareness, even if we don't like the path we are on. In a given situation, our beliefs based on past experiences kick in and draw parallels based on vague similarities. Some people consistently give up heir seat on the subway for a pregnant woman. Others consistently do not. We didn't have to weigh the merits of the case. We just go along with what is programmed deep down inside of us.

Consistency is not what many people think it is. For example, few of us stop to consider there are two kinds of consistency, just as there are two kinds of success, two kinds of control, and two kinds of communication. There is the healthy kind and the unhealthy kind. We al know people who never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. You'd think they'd catch a break once in a while, but they never do. They claim it's a matter of dumb luck, or a bad break, or fate. They blame everything but the silent operation of their consistently unhealthy beliefs from their own past.

In my counseling sessions, I look for the consistencies in a client's life. They could find them if only they knew where to look. For example, I can understand that a man may date or marry the same kind of woman because they are all consistent with his observations of a female role model growing up. He acquired certain beliefs about what a woman is and does. These beliefs shape his expectations of what his wants and needs are in a compatible marriage partner. If a mother is critical and demanding, he will be attracted to women whom act in similar ways

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Eliabeh Simyon has 1 articles online

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Why Are We Consistently Inconsistent?

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This article was published on 2011/03/26